This one’s personal.
I’ve sat with it for a while.
It’s not easy to share, and I know this kind of vulnerability isn’t for everyone.
Some people – and some businesses – prefer to keep this stuff private. I get it.
But this is exactly why Bettr was formed.
I believe in honesty, and I believe in helping others.
I’m leaning into the same values Bettr was built on: transparency, care, and connection.
If this resonates with even one person, it’s worth it.
Note
This reflection is shared with care. In the past, I drank casually, sometimes excessively, which most of us are guilty of. I never intended harm, and I’ve always cared deeply about the people around me. Over time, I came to understand how even casual drinking can affect emotional presence and connection. Not for everyone, but for some of us. It took nearly 30 years to come to understand that in short, some of us can have a quiet drink, and some of us just are not built that way. My decision to stop drinking was driven by a desire to be more present, grounded, and connected – for those I love, and for myself.
The Feelings Behind the Drinking
I drank to let go.
To switch off.
To feel less.
To feel something.
Stress, pressure, loneliness, self-doubt, they all got quieter with a drink in hand. And when you’re surrounded by people doing the same, it doesn’t feel like a problem. It feels like life.
But the truth is, I wasn’t coping. I was escaping. I was an imposter.
I didn’t know how to sit with discomfort. I didn’t know how to process the weight I was carrying. I just knew that Friday night gave me permission to disappear for a while.
That mindset – “I’ve earned this” – started in my teens and followed me into adulthood. It was part of the Aussie culture I grew up in. Work hard, drink harder. Big nights, blurry mornings. It was normal. Expected. Celebrated.
The Quiet Regret
The regret wasn’t always loud.
Sometimes it was just a foggy head, a missed moment, or a vague sense of shame I couldn’t quite name.
Other times, it was the feeling that I wasn’t showing up the way I wanted to – for my kids, for my partner, for myself.
And still, I’d do it all over again next weekend.
Because that’s what we do, right?
The Industry I Know
Since getting sober, I’ve had quiet conversations with colleagues who drink not for celebration, but for survival.
One high-ranking business leader shared with me:
“The social media image of our business is nearly the perfect picture of wellness at work, but in reality, it is just a facade designed to sell us to clients and to potential employees as a place to work. For the most part, we have toxic leadership, and it filters through the business. I stay as they pay well, they need me, I need them, and I drink to numb myself to the week that was and the week ahead.”
That stuck with me.
And I know how common it is.
Reconnecting to Faith
Sobriety didn’t just give me clarity; it gave me space to reconnect with God.
In the quiet moments, when I wasn’t numbing or escaping, I started to feel something deeper. A sense of grace. A sense of purpose. A sense that I wasn’t alone.
Faith became a foundation.
Not a fix, but a compass.
It helped me rebuild from the inside out, with humility, with honesty, and with hope.
Choosing Something Better
Four years ago, I stopped drinking.
Not because I hit rock bottom.
But because I was tired of the silence.
Tired of pretending.
Tired of hurting the people I loved.
Sobriety has been the most powerful act of healing I’ve ever made.
I’m a better dad.
A better partner.
A better son.
A better brother.
A better leader.
A better man.
The Why Behind Bettr
Sobriety gave me clarity.
It stripped away the noise and helped me see what matters.
It taught me that integrity isn’t just a value – it’s a daily practice.
When I founded Bettr Strata, it wasn’t just about building a business.
It was about building something that reflects the life I want to live, and the kind of leadership I believe in.
A business built on transparency, accountability, and care.
A business that helps people live better, more connected lives.
A business that puts people first – because I know what it feels like to lose connection, and I never want to be part of that again.
Mental Health at Bettr
Mental health isn’t a side issue at Bettr, it’s part of our foundation.
We support flexible work, open conversations, and a culture where people can be human.
We don’t just talk about wellbeing; we build systems that protect it.
Because I know firsthand what it’s like to feel alone in the struggle.
And I want Bettr to be a place where no one has to.
Support Services
If this blog resonates with you – if you’re curious, struggling, or just tired – please know that help is available. You don’t have to do it alone.
–Hello Sunday Morning – Free, anonymous support to change your relationship with alcohol.
–MensLine Australia – 24/7 counselling for men. Call 1300 78 99 78.
–Beyond Blue – 24/7 support for anxiety, depression, and alcohol-related mental health. Call 1300 22 4636.
Why I’m Sharing This
I’m passionate about mental health. I believe in helping others. And I know that silence keeps people stuck.
So, I’m sharing this milestone not to celebrate myself, but to open a door.
If this resonates with you, please feel free to reach out.
No judgment. Just connection.
You don’t have to do it alone.
Thanks for reading – I’m proud of this journey, and even more grateful for the life I get to live today. 🙏
To Loz – thank you for your love, your patience, and your belief in me. I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, have done Bettr without your encouragement and support.
God bless.
JM
P.S. Liam and Emma (bottom of the pick) look pale as they were unwell pre-flight, and young Ollie is cut out at the top of the picture due to the limits imposed on the formatting of the website that I am not IT-savvy enough to overcome! This was all before adding Charlie to this blended family.